After leaving an extremely timely small group, I felt the need to blog it up’!
If you know me at all, you know that I sometimes have a hard time only focusing on the current moment. I was that kid in middle school who was picking colleges if that tells you anything. 🙂
I hate that stupid cliche, “when you’re too focused on the future, life passes you by…” blah blah blah.
As much as hate it, it’s true. I’m all about planning things. It’s basically my hobby.
But, I’m also aware that it’ll rob you of the joy that comes with taking each step as it’s placed in front of you.
In my season of stillness, I have learned, with some failure I might add, that I can’t make it happen. There is absolutely nothing in my will power that will bring the things I want. I have to wait and take the step that has been placed at my feet. I seriously don’t enjoy it, but its a lesson that’s being taught and with much hesitation is being learned.
Everyone knows that one scripture that everyone always brings up when anyone is talking about the future or a struggle or whatever else it could apply to. It’s Jeremiah 29:11…”For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” It’s probably more popular than John 3:16. 😉
But tonight, before small group, I was thinking and praying and basically telling God that I needed to hear something regarding a particular situation and that as much I don’t want to admit that things won’t fit into my plan, I’ll adapt if I can just hear it from Him.
And then we talked about surrender at small group. WHAM! How stinkin’ timely was that?! The planning side of me hates surrender. HATES IT. It feels like it’s giving up in a battle, or wimping out in the heat of things. And if you know me at all, you know I can’t stand to not have the last word. I hate to feel like there’s no closure and I hate giving in. But, that side of me is wrong is this aspect.
When I got home, I couldn’t stop thinking about Jeremiah 29:11, and I looked it up in my bible biblegateway-ed the rest of that chapter. I’m glad I did because I discovered that verses after 11 are more powerful and in the message version they’ll knock you right in your noggin.
“When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen. “When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. “Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” God’s Decree. “I’ll turn things around for you. I’ll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you”—God’s Decree—”bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it.”
I guess in my planning, instead of listening and waiting, I just dream and take action. And naturally, things go sour. Luckily, He gives me chance after chance to go back to square one and try it with Him the next time.
If I would just stop and ask Him before hand, I’d know what to do and I could avoid 90% of the messes that I get myself into.
And I guess because He knows me better than anyone else, He knew that I needed to hear those words straight from Him because coming from anyone else, I would have let the words go in one ear and out the other and chalked it up to another dumb cliche.
Sometimes, I suppose you just have to let go. And as much as I want to push back and take the reins, I know that if I seek Him, He’ll bring me back and won’t disappoint me. I can count on it! 🙂
So here’s to seriously embracing this season of stillness, letting go of my plans, and embracing His.