To say that I have felt the need to blog almost every day during the last three weeks would not be a lie.  In fact, my unpublished blogs have multiplied and my thoughts are continuing to race.  In these last three weeks, every time I sit down to write, I get a few paragraphs out and then I hit a block.  So, I’ve just saved them as drafts and I’m sure at some point, I’ll reread them and feel inspired to finish them.

Anyway, this morning, I was feeling particularly bloggish and was sort of at a loss with what to write about.  Not because I have no thoughts, but simply because I have so many deep issues that have been surfacing in my mind and sitting down for 20 minutes to type them just doesn’t seem to bring them any justice.  But then, I came across a very special blog.  Perhaps the best blog  I have ever read..perhaps the most timely and important little treasure I’ve been given in this season.

It is the blog of a dead man.  Creepy is the first word that came to mind, right?! But it is so not creepy.  This blog comes from a man who died a few months back, and who suffered from cancer.  He’s actually a little famous for his battle, and to say that he had a beautiful heart is a serious understatement.

So, I’m reading this blog, and all of its nuggets of wisdom, slivers of hope, cries of pain, and depths of goodness…and all I can do is marvel.  Like I said, in this season of my life, this little discovery may just be the best thing I’ve ever found.

This man knew he was going to die.  For months.  He knew.  And rather than begging and pleading with God (although there was a season of that), he prepared.  He put things in place for his wife and his three kids, and he prepared them for their loss.  He took up his cross and he walked in obedience as best as he could.  Instead of wallowing in self pity, he did everything in his power to reach people.  He truly understood what the sense of urgency is all about, and he lived the last years of his life by it.  He embraced the wisdom that he was given, and he turned his suffering into something God could use.

As I’m walking through this season of my life, the word suffering seems to be the theme.  Not my own suffering, but suffering in those around me.  God is teaching me how to share the joys and the pains with my brothers and sisters, and He’s showing me how to be His light in the midst of all of it.

So back to this guy.  He made several videos before he died, and until today, I had only seen his more recent and most well known.  But for me, the first video is even more powerful.  He made this video as a letter to himself, and I can honestly tell you guys that watching it has stirred something in me.

I’m always ranting on about the important things of life (sorry, CMB), and I’m always questioning the things we count as treasures (careers, money, cars, homes, decor, toys, etc.).  And I’m not coming from this high and mighty place..trust me, I’m just as guilty as you guys. It’s just a conviction that I always carry, and am sometimes reluctant to respond to.  Anyway, after a few hours of reading this blog and then watching this video, I felt that conviction rise up in me.  This man was dieing. He had a wife. He had kids. He had a career. He had wants. He had dreams. He had aspirations.  He was just like the rest of us…except he was near his end.  He talks about his realization of coming to that end, and how it woke him up to the things that really matter.  What a freaking testimony!  And how blessed are we that we get to see this man’s story and use it as our own warning?!

What have you done in your life that really matters?

Why are we wasting time pursuing things that are gonna fade away?  Most people always insert the typical “I’m not saying sell all of your belongings and give all of your money to the poor..” but I challenge you to question that.  Is your $30,000 car more important than a child getting clean drinking water?  Is your $25 name brand T-shirt more important than the local homeless man’s hunger?

When did we stop believing in the radical things?!  Jesus never said that it was okay to pursue comfort for ourselves and abandon those in need.  In fact, He spoke against it, and He encouraged us to be radical and even to abandon our worldly mentalities and worldly possessions.

We’re all gonna face our end.  It’s a simple and scary fact.  We have no idea what our next breath is gonna bring, so why are we wasting what we’re given on pursuing..for lack of a better word..crap?

Let’s look at this man’s life as a warning from God and wake up!  Let’s not waste our time.

My challenge to you guys is this: Pursue Him, no matter what the cost.  Show His love.  Be His light. Find your purpose. Live your lives with a burning passion for Him and look to Him to satisfy your needs.  Live with a sense of urgency.  Remember that you’re not guaranteed another breath, and do everything you can to make the breath you’re given count for Him.

Here’s the video I was talking about:

And here’s the link to his blog:





Filed under Game Changers.

2 responses to “Heavy.

  1. Your blog just confirms everything God has been stirring within me. I reiterate the question.. When did we stop believing in radical things??

  2. Pingback: Heavy | Ecce Cor Meum

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